I’ve shared different blog posts over recent months thinking about how a celebrant can support you to create a wedding that is completely personalised, and accessible to you both. To celebrate our wedding anniversary this week, I wanted to share a little post about how Mr Celebrant Kathryn & I planned our own wedding ceremony and some of the decisions we made. 

Planning any wedding comes with many choices for both of you.  You'll hear plenty of expectations and opinions about "how it's usually done"!  However, remember that you know what works for you.  When one or both of you have access requirements, or a physical impairment, as I do, there may be extra things that you decide to consider.

When planning our wedding we approached it like anything else, making choices or finding alternatives that worked best for us and would give us the wedding we wanted.

Location, Location, Location

Top of our list was that I could get around our venues confidently, no matter how massive the dress!  This wasn't just about me either - older relatives also needed consideration.  We chose an accessible location with reliable lifts; then a pub that we liked that suited us, or were willing to change.  I've been in enough skanky disabled loos!

Our reception venue agreed contractually to make changes to the accessible loo so it was as pleasant as the others.  It only needed a better lock, decent mirror and toilet roll holder.  They agreed all guests, disabled or not, should have an equal experience.

To bouquet or not to bouquet

I personally didn’t feel the need to prioritize flowers.  I couldn't be bothered to juggle a bouquet with holding dad's arm/husband's arm/cocktail while walking in a straight line, taking it all in and remembering to slow down so I chose to skip the bouquet (!!) Best, if most controversial decision made!  Some thought I'd "miss out" but I genuinely was not fussed. We decided to continue the flower free theme by having giant Lego as our centre-pieces.  If you like flowers but fear holding a bouquet then here are some alternatives:

• A wrist corsage;

• A pomander (a ball of flowers on a loop or ribbon over your arm)

• Lightweight stems or paper flowers (my best girls had funky paper bouquets from Etsy)

Dressing to impress

I chose to have my dress adjusted 1cm shorter to prevent tripping.  I wore chunky heels and had some flats ready so I could keep dancing (every non-disabled bride I know had ended up in flats/barefoot!)  I had a pocket added on my right so I could carry bits easily.  This also meant I could take charge of the certificate after the ceremony, much to guests' amusement!

Aisle be there for you...

I enjoyed walking down the aisle, if you are worrying or unable to, you don't have to!  What makes you happy?  Tradition-schmadition!  Enter with your guests or wait at the front as they arrive.  During the ceremony you can also stay seated if you need to.

Put a ring on it

There is no UK legal obligation to exchange rings.  If you want one there are options.  Rings can go any finger, on either hand.  Only British tradition states fourth finger on your left hand.  I can open my hand but fingers and knuckles on my left are a bit wonky, so my ring was made 1/4 size bigger for ease of putting on and removal - and we practiced.  Your celebrant can advise about alternatives.

Flash bang wallop

Weddings can be tiring - for everyone!  We limited the time we stood for photos to three bursts of around 15-20 minutes through the day - though adrenaline meant I felt fine.  I also alerted our photographer that I would not be up for climbing or poses involving balance.  She was a true pro and we love all our photos.

These are just from our experience but hopefully they help you see that very few things are a "must" for any wedding.  It's your day - do it your way! A Celebrant can help you make sure your wedding is completely accessible to you.

I’m especially skilled in creating inclusive wedding ceremonies so if this is a consideration for you…

Photo by Sassy @ Asassynation