Demonstrate your values and what’s important at your Humanist Wedding

If you’ve been elsewhere on this website, if you follow me on Instagram or if you’ve ever met me ‘in real life’, you’ll have spotted that I’m pretty open about what my values and priorities are, namely (in no particular order):

• Anti-ableism  and Anti-racism

• Gender Equality

• Compassion

• Sustainability

• Reason & Inquisitiveness

It’s no surprise that these aren’t a million miles away from how Humanists UK describe Humanist values. Anyone who knows me, knows that what motivates me and what I'm driven by is; supporting communities, creating change-big or small, equality, compassion and taking action…

All of my career choices have been influenced and made with these principles as my beacon. When I became a Humanist Celebrant I was determined to build my business in a way that reflected my values and enabled me to proactively act upon them.  

Here are just some of the choices I’ve made about how I work as a celebrant and support my couples while also being true to my values:

• I only use public transport to attend weddings I’m officiating at

• I gift my couples bee-friendly seeds alongside their keepsake script so they can remember their day and look after bees while doing so!

• I choose to advertise on directories that support sustainability (for example - Rock my Wedding plant trees using a % of the membership fee)

• I work with, contribute to and amplify the voices of individuals and groups who are working to make the industry more inclusive such as LGBTEqualityWeddings

• I’m currently donating 5% of my fee to Bromley & Croydon Womens Aid

I’m finding that the couples who book me most are the couples for whom being values-driven and intentional in their wedding planning is vital. I love working with couples who I enjoy spending time with, where there’s a connection and ultimately who share some of my values. I’ve found that by being really vocal about these I get to work with even more awesome couples planning weddings!

The couples who book me are often thinking about planning a feminist wedding, a sustainable wedding that reflects ethical choices or an accessible wedding that’s inclusive to them both and all their guests. Sometimes it’s all of the above! :)

Here are some ideas for how to demonstrate your values while planning your wedding:

Interrogate the traditions that are often seen in ‘standard wedding ceremonies

This doesn’t mean that you have to chuck out everything that makes your wedding feel familiar. It is worth having a bit of a think about where some of the really traditional elements of wedding ceremonies come from and if that feels comfortable to you - especially if gender equality is important to you! Chat to your Celebrant and there are often ways to slightly tweak elements for modern couples. A Celebrant can also help you create and choose new or different wedding rituals and elements that are just as celebratory, but without the old-fashioned or outdated baggage.

Donate to meaningful causes instead of gifting favours

More and more of my couples are choosing to do this and it’s a really lovely way to make a tangible difference on your wedding day. Instead of spending money gifting items that are often left on tables, eaten tipsily or popped in a drawer at home, why not use that part of the budget to donate to causes that mean something to you both and let your guests know you’ve done that and why it matters to you.

Ask potential suppliers if they donate to charitable causes as part of their pricing

If this is something that’s really important to you then it’s worth looking specifically at suppliers websites for mention of this, or asking them if it is part of their business model. It’s important to remember that not every supplier will be able to, so bear that in mind. If that is the case, there are other ways you can achieve a similar result. Either through donating in lieu of favours (above) or through your wedding gift list such as Patchwork Weddings.

Think about the ecological impact of your wedding

From encouraging guests to use public transport, to hiring suits, to choosing a venue that operates sustainably, there are lots of ways to have a sustainable wedding. You can check out my blog about planning a sustainable wedding here.

Choose Suppliers who share your Values

You'll often be spending time with the wedding suppliers helping you create your unique wedding day, and even if you don’t spend time with them, you'll be spending your money, so it's a really good idea to get a sense of the people behind 'the brand'. This is especially true for planners, photographers and celebrants! A good place to start is their social media - you can find my Instagram here - or their 'About Me' page. Again you can check out my ‘About me’ page here.

Are you thinking about how to show what’s important to you both as part of your wedding? Your ceremony is the perfect place to start - why not get in touch and let’s chat about how we can make that happen.