What does a Humanist Celebrant do? The best job in the world!
Why did I become a Humanist Wedding Celebrant? I just love getting to know people, about their lives, what matters to them, what makes them want to rant, what makes them laugh! I love stories, especially LOVE Stories! I love making wonderful memories for people, celebrating their love and partnership.
But what exactly is the role as a wedding celebrant? How can I make sure you have an amazing bespoke wedding ceremony? Let me walk you through how, by choosing me as your wedding celebrant, you’ll be able to really personalize your wedding and have a feel-good, fabulous day! Read on to find out:
How is a wedding celebrant different to a registrar?
How does a wedding celebrant make sure your wedding reflects you both?
How to have a personalised, unique wedding ceremony
How to find the perfect wedding readings and music
How can a wedding celebrant help you write your own vows?
What wedding rituals could you include in your ceremony?
How a celebrant can reduce wedding stress, supporting your wedding choices
How to feel prepared for your wedding day
I’ll cover each of these in a little more detail over my coming blog posts, so look out for those!
Getting to know you - How to choose your wedding celebrant
My role as a celebrant starts before you even book me. You might be wondering how a Wedding Celebrant is different to a registrar and it really does start here. The first thing I do will be to have a chat with both of you so you can find out a bit about me. We get to know each other and I hear a little bit about your exciting wedding plans! We’ll probably end up chatting about cats or cocktails or maybe even London transport if you're that way inclined. Ultimately it’s for you to make sure we're a good fit. It's really important that you feel comfortable with me and know I can deliver the most perfect bespoke wedding ceremony for you. I love this bit, it really plays to my love of stories, essentially a polite way of saying my nosiness. I'm always fascinated by people or, as Mr Celebrant Kathryn puts it, I’m ‘always making friends on the bus’. I love that this is part of being a celebrant! When you book a registrar-led wedding, you’ll be allocated whoever is working on your wedding date and you’re unlikely to meet them much before the day.
At this stage, I'm already thinking about different ways that I could craft you a wedding ceremony that’s full of your personality. I'm thinking about the little stories you're telling me and how they could help me tell your story and what wedding readings or entrance music you might like that I could suggest. After you’ve booked me as your celebrant, we’ll have another, slightly more in-depth. planning chat where I’ll really get to understand what you want from your wedding and your marriage! I’ll then get to work on writing and crafting your very own feel-good, fabulous, fully customised wedding ceremony.
Find perfect wedding readings, meaningful music, modern love poems
Modern wedding readings, traditional wedding readings, fun or unusual wedding readings...A lot of couples find it really tricky to find wedding readings, music or poetry that really feels authentic to them. It's very easy to pick a reading, just because you heard it at the last wedding you went to and didn’t hate it!
Perhaps you want a wedding reading to reflect your same-sex marriage, or a poem that celebrates finding love second time around or a song acknowledging that you’re blending your families. As your Wedding Celebrant, I have a huge bank of ideas on this already as well as a love of researching more and if we still can’t find something then I’ve a great network I can reach out to for even more ideas! Let’s find a reading that makes you and your guests get goosebumps!
On the other hand, perhaps you don’t want any wedding readings, maybe the thought of listening to a love poem makes you cringe. That’s no problem either, I can make sure you have an elegant wedding ceremony that feels meaningful and full of joy.
How to write your own vows? I’ll help you create beautiful promises
A celebrant-led wedding gives you full flexibility on every aspect of your ceremony, there are no ‘prescribed words’ that you ‘have to say or outdated phrases to ‘grin and bear’!
Having a personalised wedding that truly reflects you both is really exciting. At the same time, you might find it daunting to realise there are no standard vows! That’s where I can support you as your celebrant. I will help you find the words to make the most authentic promises to each other, be that with humour, heartfelt words or even a top ten list of everything they do to annoy you and why you love them anyway! I’ll make sure you feel confident both creating your own vows and delivering them on the day!
Crafting the perfect bespoke wedding ceremony
Your bespoke wedding ceremony can be as offbeat, unusual or as ‘traditional’ as you like. Whatever your wedding vibe. I’ll make sure that your wedding ceremony feels just that - ceremonial! Your wedding will flow through setting the scene and storytelling, taking you and your guests on a journey, building up to the moment you make your promises and we proclaim you married!
I’ll structure the wedding ceremony to be perfectly paced, no long boring bits and you can choose to include your friends, family and/or fur-babies as much or as little as you like. You might want to take part in a meaningful wedding ritual, more on that below... As your celebrant, I’ll weave this all together into a feel-good fabulous wedding ceremony that is a completely unique wedding just for you both.
How to choose wedding rituals that reflect you both
The most well-known of all the wedding rituals is of course, exchanging wedding rings. Often we don’t think too much about the symbolism of rings, they just became ‘something that happens at weddings’ in western culture. Rings have so many images associated with them from the galaxies, to the circle of life to the change of the seasons.
As well as (or instead of) exchanging rings at your wedding, there are lots of different ways to symbolise your partnership. As your wedding celebrant, I can help you choose wedding ritual(s) that mean something to you! Here are just a few ideas, I’ll be posting over the coming weeks about different wedding rituals in more detail:
Ring-warming - A wedding ritual where your wedding rings are (safely!) passed around your guests. Upon receiving the rings, guests hold them in their hand briefly, “warming them up” with good wishes for your future together.
Handfasting - In a Handfasting I’ll invite you to join hands, which symbolises you entering this marriage with your own free will. Then some decorative ribbons or cords are wrapped around your hands as meaningful words are spoken. A knot is tied symbolising your marriage - you will, literally, have tied the knot! (Geddit?)
Lighting a Unity Candle - A Unity Candle ceremony usually involves you both lighting one large candle from two smaller candles. Traditionally, the smaller candles represent the merging of two families.
Sand Blending - This is such a fun ceremony idea! You each take turns pouring coloured sand from individual containers into a joint one. The sand blends together to make a beautiful display. This is an especially lovely idea for blended families, as children can also add sand to a family vase or jar.
Planting a Tree - Fab in a garden wedding or outdoor ceremony, planting something that will live and grow as you both do.
Sharing a drink from the quaich - A quaich is a Scottish traditional two-handled cup, often referred to as a love cup! You each take a handle to take a drink, showing you trust one another to share the cup. You can fill the cup with a drink of your choice, sometimes whisky or you can combine two drinks symbolising the two of you building a partnership.
There are lots more different wedding rituals to choose from and I can help you do that. Or, I can help you design your very own wedding ritual that reflects your individual hobbies, passions and circumstances!
I’ll be there for you, tackling wedding planning stress and backing you all the way!
When you begin planning a wedding you’ll find there are various decisions that you need to make. If you choose to have a personalised, non-religious wedding ceremony, you can be as creative as you’d like! I will craft a customised wedding ceremony that feels absolutely authentic to you both.
Sometimes, choosing to shun certain traditions and stay true to yourself can cause other people to question your decisions and sometimes they may start to try to make you question your choices - even the choice to have a humanist wedding ceremony itself. I will be your number one advocate! You can even just blame me if you like and it keeps great aunt Susan, who you last saw at your nativity play, at bay. I’ll make sure you get the ceremony you want! Whatever that looks like and no matter what other people think! Nevertheless, she persisted! Nevertheless, we persist!
Practice makes Personal - Preparing for your Wedding Day
Unlike with a registrar, a celebrant-led wedding gives you the opportunity to have a rehearsal either at your venue or somewhere easy for you. While a wedding rehearsal is always optional, I really recommend it! Why do I need a wedding rehearsal? I hear you ask! Can we have a wedding rehearsal but keep our personal vows to secret until the day?
Let’s tackle that second question first. Yes! You can absolutely keep those special words close to your chest if you want to. I do ask that they’ve been shared, confidentially, with me beforehand. This is just in case you have a wobble on the day and also, so I can include them in your presentation wedding script - more on that later! Writing your own vows is a really amazing way to have a truly unique wedding ceremony.
So, why should you have a wedding rehearsal? Your wedding day will be filled with joy and emotion - that’s literally my job! There also tend to be various bits where someone needs to stand or sit somewhere, hold something or say something. A wedding rehearsal is a great way to run through the logistics of your wedding ceremony so you can focus on each other and enjoy the moment on the day.
On your Big Day! A Team-Wedding cheerleader
On your wedding day, before the ceremony starts, I’ll be there to offer last-minute moral support, I’ll check who’s got the rings, make sure your readers are ready and I’ll make sure your gran gets a seat near the front. I’ll answer questions and reassure everyone about what will happen if it rains. When you’re ready to start, I’ll get everyone prepared, make sure their phones are off and then I’ll get them excited to welcome you to your wedding!
I’ll deliver your truly unique wedding ceremony
This is really the culmination of my role as your wedding celebrant. I’ll delight in telling your love story and will guide you and your guests through your ceremony. I’ll keep everyone engaged and actually listening as we celebrate your love. Every ceremony I deliver is different and so much emotion comes from the energy in the room on the day, you can feel the joy coming from the guests in waves.
You will have seen the ceremony script before the day and advised on anything particular you want to see included, or not. Perhaps you want me to acknowledge a family member no longer with us, you may want to include a little bit on Humanism or why you chose a celebrant-led wedding or you may want your wedding ceremony kept short and particularly sweet. There is always a tangible sense of anticipation as we move through the handpicked readings, the music, the ritual until we come to the moment where you declare your promises and are married!
Sometimes, family circumstances or beliefs have led to individuals choosing not to celebrate your love, or even choosing not to attend your ceremony. Life can be messy and a wedding often doesn't fix that. I am really sensitive to managing these situations and will make sure that on that day, as you both celebrate your love in front of everyone who matters to you, all you feel is joy!
Making sure you have Wedding memories to treasure
Shortly after your wedding, I’ll send you a lovely keepsake, a presentation version of your wedding ceremony script. This will be presented decoratively and will include the words of any readings and vows (which you may not have heard before the wedding!). It’s really lovely to be able to read it back, feel-good and remember your fabulous wedding day.
So there you have it - What does a Humanist Wedding Celebrant do? I create a beautiful, personal wedding ceremony for you both. I make sure your wedding reflects your love, your story and your values and I support you both every step of the way!
Thank you to Claire at Poppy K Photography for letting me share these lovely images! Find Poppy K Photography on Instagram for more!
